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Joke of the Day

"#feelthebern As a Jew I'm not sure Bernie is allowed to say that"

"I found the rulebook for an old card game at my grandfather's house. ""Draw a card, if it's black, take a shot."" Oh wait, that's just the LAPD guidebook."

"A Spanish woman couldn't find her way out of a corn maze and died. Isn't that a-maiz-ing? EDIT: To be specific, she starved to death in the corn maze. I screwed it up."

"I hate when people say Hitler did nothing wrong afterall he did commit suicide..."

"[at a spelling bee] Judge: Your word is SPELL. Witch: *mumbles something under her breath* Judge: Ribbit"

"There's plenty of deeply disturbed fish in the sea."

"Girl in front of me at the store this morning bought a Kool-Aid Burst and a big Slim Jim. Heroes walk amongst us, folks. Real life heroes."

"What did pancake Chip say to his friend pancake Berry when Berry was sad? ""Don't feel blue, Berry, things will get batter"""

"How do you tell when somebodies a vegan? You don't, they will tell you."

"TIL Tim Gibbons, a reclusive gastroenterologist, has the only fart preserved in a jar on record since 1983... *owner of a lonely fart*"