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Joke of the Day

"What did pancake Chip say to his friend pancake Berry when Berry was sad? ""Don't feel blue, Berry, things will get batter"""

"INTERVIEWER: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? SLOTH: *Points to another part of the building* Around there maybe"

"What came first, the chicken or the egg? (dirty) The Rooster. ( )"

"BAD MATH JOKE TIME. For pi day, my friend was selling pies as a fundraiser, so because I love pie, I decided to buy two. I went from 0 to 2. I went absolutely nowhere."

"What do you call an Asian Pothead camping in Yellowstone? A Yellowstoner."

"The only reason I watch political speeches is cause I'm hoping there's gonna be a sniper."

"I bet if Jeff Bridges picked up your kid from school today & said ""I'm your dad now,"" your kid wouldn't even question it."

"A man was marched to an atm, and made to take out $300. Thats the last time he forgot his wifes birthday."

"I hate how people treat amputees differently. Just because they're missing a limb or two doesn't make them any less of a person."

"Me: *being hauled on a stretcher into an ambulance* Shotgun! EMT: dude your gonna die if you si- Driver: dammit Dave, he called shotgun"