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Joke of the Day

"Why is there so little Puerto Rican literature? Because the spray paint can wasn't invented until 1949."

"I need an ex-boyfriend so I have something to do on Facebook at 3 in the morning."

"I went outside without makeup on. A child cried and I think a bird flew into a window on purpose."

"The asshole in front of me is texting and driving right as I'm tweeting this."

"How does the Japanese mafia keep their drinks cold they put it in a a Ya Koozie"

"Now that Platini has been banned from football... Who's going to make all the sticker albums?"

"what's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? the taste."

"What do you call a couple having sex in a moving car? Burning rubber"

"The oldest British joke (10th Century): What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before? A key."

"Hi, you've reached my voicemail. Send me a text like a normal person."