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Joke of the Day
"The asshole in front of me is texting and driving right as I'm tweeting this."
Next Joke
"What do you call a Scottish lady that wears nothing but a tie? Hentai."
"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? I wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face."
"My friends and i wanted to dressup as the Pokemon Trio today to play Pokemon Go... Unfortunately our friend Brock was too busy chasing tail, so it got cancelled."
"Have you heard about that new film about the tractor? I just saw the trailer."
"Mathematicians have found a new, advanced strand of Ebola... called Hyper-bola I'm sorry :("
"[my hot coworker Brenda & I at gates of Hell] BRENDA: we finally closed the gate, what should we seal it with? ME: a kiss? B: don't do that"
"Mexican word of the day: wheelchair Theirs only 1 taco left, so wheel chair."
"A lorry has just overturned on the M6 loaded with Vicks vapour rub. Police have said there will be no congestion for eight hours."
"Something good is coming my way I can feel it. Nothing life changing, probably just a hotdog God please let it be a hotdog"