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Joke of the Day

"Way to greet me with a headache, Friday. Who died and made you an asshole? You think you're Monday or something?"

"Today, I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a wall... ...As he turned and sneered at me, I thought: 'that's a little condescending'."

"What's a pirate's favorite letter?"

"Rob thank god you picked up! Hey remember when you said if I needed a place to crash I cou- hold on *to copilot* STOP CRYING, ROB WILL HELP"

"I just got a new job at a gay magazine. I'm a poofreader."

"What do you call a woman who is paralysed from the waist down? Married."

"How to spell ""me"" A man walks up to a woman and asks her to spell the word ""ME"" for him. She says, ""M-E"". The man says, ""But you forgot the D!"" ""But there's no ""D"" in ""ME""!"" He says, ""Not yet.."""

"What's Pee-wee Herman's favorite entree? Stroganoff."

"""Do you want to be the numerator or the denominator tonight...? You're so radical!"" How I hit on my imaginary mathematician girlfriend"

"What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody Nose"