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Joke of the Day

"Today, I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a wall... ...As he turned and sneered at me, I thought: 'that's a little condescending'."

"When my girlfriend and I fight, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house. Just so I can say ""Oh yeah, you need me NOW, huh?"""

"What happened when the girl dressed as a spoon left the Halloween party? No one moved. They couldn't stir without her."

"Young McDonald had a time machine... ...and warned his future self about letter based songs."

"Her; My phones dead let me use yours Me; (throws phone out car window) oh I must of left it at home"

"What's the difference between a bindle of cocaine and a baby?? Eric Clapton wouldn't let one fall out the window"

"How can you tell when an auto mechanic jus had sext One of his fingers is clean!!"

"What's the difference between George Washington and Nicki Minaj? [Nicki Minaj never owned slaves.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gr1p4KtgOXc)"

"If money can't buy happiness, explain ice cream. You can't."

"What makes football players bi-sexual? They play with Cleats and Balls all day."