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Joke of the Day

"What's Pee-wee Herman's favorite entree? Stroganoff."

"Siri, does this look infected?"

"A wise old man once told me... ...to bend over."

"Hitler Where did Hitler keep his armies? In his sleevies!"

"I can only handle girls that are a 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, or 10 on the hotness scale. Cause 7 ate 9 so they're probably not interested in me."

"Every time Larry picked up his colleagues in NJ and drove them to NYC, his wrists started hurting. He was diagnosed with carpool tunnel syndrome."

"I had a joke about wet floors but it must have slipped my mind"

"My boss told me if I kept showing up late he'd give me a pink slip and I was like, how does he know about my tastes in women's underwear?"

"Sex Ed should require them to listen to a crying baby for 5 hours, and to watch the same episode of a cartoon over and over again."

"what did one snowman say to the other? do you smell carrots?"