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Joke of the Day

"I tweeted about Darth Vader wearing Depends earlier. Since then, two Vaders and have ""followed"" me. I'm getting choked tonite. Help."

"My niece was the victim of demonic possession FOR THE SECOND TIME. She was repossessed."

"My teacher said he doesn't like imaginary numbers because the uses are limited. I asked him whether he was for reals."

"A Muslim, an Illegal Immigrant, and a Marxist walk into a bar... And the bartender asks, ""What'll ya have, Mr. President?"""

"Why do chickens sit on eggs? Because they don't have any chairs. Source: my five-year-old."

"A pedophile chicken has sex with an egg... Obviously the chicken came first."

"Why did the moth go into the dentist's office? The light was on."

"A dog owner tells his dog.. Owner: ""Who's a good boy?"" Doggo: ""Did you just assume my gender?!"""

"RED RIDING HOOD: what big pupils you have grandmother WOLF: yeah I found some pills in the bathroom I love you they're unreal you want some?"

"A car pool is an extravagant waste of water."