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Joke of the Day

"I hate putting my clothes in the washing machine... they always seem so agitated when I take them out."

"Dude, you're so black that when you wash yourself with soap... ... You have to wash the soap itself with washing powder afterwards."

"26.8 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot."

"I'm not into bestiality but... I do like hot dogs"

"There was a blackout in our neighborhood The police told us to stay inside until they shot him"

"Forgot to open the door before applying hand lotion so now I'm stuck in my restroom forever."

"I stole a stripper's kid. It was like taking baby from a Candi."

"Did you hear about that hippie superhero who could make tulips and daffodils grow just by sprinkling baking ingredients on them? He said it was his self raising flour power."

"What's the difference between America and a tub of yogurt? After 200 years the yogurt would have developed some kind of culture."

"Thinking of donating my beard to charity because there's so much food in it."