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Joke of the Day

"Two zombies were playing a game of poker The first one threw his hand in the pile and the other laughed his head off."

"As a kid I wanted to be a tree surgeon... but the sight of sap makes me faint"

"What does the torch represent in the hand of the Statue of Liberty? The torch is a symbol of her inability to read in the dark."

"The English language is bizzare There was a young girl from Slough Who choked on a piece of raw dough But the time she was through With hiccup and cough She woke everyone in the borough"

"In a philosophy class... Professor: Sometimes an idiot's question is too hard for even 10 geniuses to answer. One student pipes up: No wonder I fail my tests."

"In the past, U.S.A. has had for president..... Bush senior, Bush junior and now Bush groper."

"Editing a supercut of characters saying ""Don't go there!"" in movies because I can't figure out a way to contribute less to my fellow man."

"What's the difference between an airplane and an abortion? Only one doesn't fly after coming into contact with a hanger"

"I'd like to thank my gps for making me feel like the star of an action movie every time it waits too long to tell me where to turn."

"It's all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen."