19014

Joke of the Day

"""We suspect you may have inability to vocalise emotion disease"" ""I can't say I'm surprised"" *doc strokes beard* ""Hmm yes.Just as we thought"""

"What is the difference between your wife and your job? After ten years your job still sucks"

"Her: I saw this Yoda pen & I thought of you. Me: WHY? YOU THINK I'M 8 OR SOMETHING? Her: No, sorry... Me: Hey, hey, hey! Leave the pen."

"Dance like you're not the father"

"What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot ""you racist"""

"The chicken and the egg lay in bed together sharing a cigarette... The chicken turns to the egg and says, ""well, I guess we answered that one."""

"Why did Rolf Harris leave Animal Hospital? He heard they were getting hares and lost interest!"

"I don't know how to tell people this... But I want to be a translator."

"What do Canadian banks and psych wards have in common? They both contain locked up loonies!"

"Right now the parents of the kid who climbed Trump Tower are thinking ""Damn I knew we shouldn't have given him that REI gift card"""