190121
Joke of the Day
"My patient was refused his organ transplant. But I didn't have the heart to tell him."
Next Joke
"What do you call a blue-eyed blonde that doesn't eat meat? A vegetaryan"
"Interviewer: what would you say is your biggest weakness? Me: *high pitched mocking voice* what would you say is your biggest weakness?"
"Why is the Martian on DVD So you can Bring him Home"
"What's the difference between a fence and Ellen Pao One knows how to link properly."
"I never really liked gravity... ... It's always bringing me down."
"What does Harry Potter call his penis? His Magic Johnson."
"Did you hear about the University of Miami fullback who stayed up all night studying for his urine test?"
"*interrupts dinner ""IS THAT CLOCK REALLY YOUR GRANDFATHER!?"""
"Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I... can't see."