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Joke of the Day

"People who say age is just a number fundamentally don't get numbers and that's why I always borrow money from them."

"A magician is walking down the street He turns into a store"

"Cashier: Aww, you grocery shop so your wife doesn't have to? [flashback to me losing paper, rock, scissors] Me: Yeah, I'm sweet like that."

"I don't trust Sperm Banks, so naturally I keep my semen hidden in my mattress."

"Paris attack I beat the paris mission in mw3 today"

"Kesha got a lip tattoo that says, 'Suck It.' I'd suggest you 'Disinfect It,' 'Fumigate It,' or better yet, 'Avoid It.'"

"What do cats and people that submit jokes with the punchline ""PLAGIARISM"" have in common? THEY BOTH LICK THEIR PAWS!"

"What did Simba say to his dad when he was moving too slow? Mufasa!"

"How do you get a Ford recalled? Wait."

"I wonder if in 100 years, ghosts of today will spell out ""swag"" or ""bae"" on the Ouija boards"