172499

Joke of the Day

"What if the first tire-swing was left there as a warning to other tires?"

"It's late and I'm wondering what my high school girlfriend is doing now. I'd call her but I know she has a big algebra test tomorrow."

"Whats E.T short for? Because he's got little legs."

"TIL there is a new type of morning-after pill, and it's for men! It changes blood type."

"Sorry I looked completely surprised that your baby didn't burst into flames when I chanted The Power Of Christ Compels You."

"Here's another great thing about hot tubs [pulls out a bowl of fully cooked ramen from under the water]"

"I hate ramen noodles. *Checks bank account balance* I love ramen noodles!"

"My friend decided to cut out whiskey... ...but he's Stella heavy drinker."

"Yeah, did you hear about the really chatty snake gynecologist? Well, he was good at his job, but I just couldn't stand how he kept sticking his head in my business."

"If I was a doctor I would scare my patients by pretending to go check google every time they asked me a question"