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Joke of the Day

"Disney shouldn't have to post warning signs Don't their gators make a ticking sound as they approach?"

"Ever look in a mirror wondering about the stranger staring back & then realize it's your neighbor's window and they're calling the cops?"

"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. That rose's name? Albert Einstein."

"Did you hear about the nurse who swallowed razor blade? She gave herself a tonsillectomy, an appendectomy, a hysterectomy, and circumcised three of the doctors on her shift."

"And the he told me he was kilt shopping. So, apparently I'm married to Braveheart."

"What do we want? Race Car Noises! When do we want them? Neeeeeoooooooowwwww!"

"what do you call it when you sext someone and they dont respond? Molexting"

"Q: What time would it be if five elephants were chasing you? A: Five after one."

"Whenever my grandma comes to visit and I hear a loud thud from upstairs, I go for a coffee and think about the cool stuff I just inherited."

"Show me on this Russian nesting doll where the bad man hid many more, smaller versions of you"