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Joke of the Day

"Ever look in a mirror wondering about the stranger staring back & then realize it's your neighbor's window and they're calling the cops?"

"Two breakdancers walk into a bar They get served."

"It's my ninth anniversary on Twitter. I could not have done it without my ex-wife and my kids whose names I no longer remember."

"Saw some girl pull up to her mailbox, open her door & then fall entirely out of her car while reaching for the mail. JK It was me."

"Did you hear the one about the guy who could never remember the punchline? It...um...it was a pretty good one."

"What's up with these strippers not taking my singles??? They must not like Kraft"

"What kind of yogurt does a skeleton eat? Actibia."

"cashier: whoa 58 boxes of Mac and Cheese, having a party tonight? me: Cashier: me: Cashier: me: sure"

"how was copper wire invented? 2 jews found the same penny"

"B:You can never be possessed by any demonic beings. G:Why? Is it because I am very religious? B:No! Its because you are always so salty"