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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the nurse who swallowed razor blade? She gave herself a tonsillectomy, an appendectomy, a hysterectomy, and circumcised three of the doctors on her shift."

"Thank you for defining the word 'many' for me. It means a lot."

"I'm not as tweet as you drunk I am think."

"What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? A hockey player takes a shower after three periods."

"Did you know ISIS has its own sex toy factory? There specialise in blow up dolls"

"Me: What did you do at preschool? 3-year-old: We had to color inside the lines the WHOLE time. Me: 3-year-old: I need to lie down."

"Where do you go to get fresh complaints? The whinery."

"Did you hear about the horror movie set in a campground? It was in tents."

"Scientists have a new working theory on what happened before the Big Bang. Your mom put an ad on Craigslist."

"It's almost Thanksgiving day... Remember to set all your scales back 10 pounds tonight."