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Joke of the Day

"What has two wings and a halo? A Chinese phone. Wing wing, hallo?"

"I remember my first time at a mic. ""Cleanup on aisle 5"" & ""Price check-Advil"" were two early bits that really seemed to resonate with folks."

"Women who live in glass houses shouldn't complain about the glass ceiling"

"If Mary had baby Jesus, and baby Jesus was the Lamb of God... Did Mary have a little lamb?"

"My father put a lot of pressure on me as a child. He used to say stuff like ""You're five years old? When I was your age I was six!"""

"My wife is a vegan. I'm not. I don't care if she makes more money than me. I can still say that I'm the one who brings home the bacon."

"What is a Thai person's finishing fight move. Bangkok."

"I sold my vacuum cleaner today.. It was only collecting dust."

"The Queen Elizabeth doesn't have one. The Pope has one, yet he does not use it. Arnold Schwarzenegger's is big, and Brad Pitt's is small. What am I talking about? A last name, you pervs."

"Australian politics"