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Joke of the Day

"My friend told me I didn't understand irony Which was ironic considering we were stood at a bus stop at the time."

"So two penguins are sitting in a bathtub... And one says to the other, ""Can you pass the soap?"" and the other says, ""What do I look like, a typewriter?"""

"Still haven't found the manly way to walk across ice."

"What did the terrorist say to the waiter after his meal? ""These hot wings have made me a ticking time bomb."""

"What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day? Deja Moo!"

"In an alternate universe, humans with an extra cromossome are gods, each responsible for a physical property. It has been this way since the Down of time."

"What's the difference between a famous book by Dickens and a woman who buys fake boobs? One is a Tale of Two Cities..."

"Behind every fat girl there is a beautiful woman. No seriously, you're in the way"

"Why can't a bike stand on its own? It's two tired."

"Why can't there be a League of Legend's team of 5 Lucians? Because you can't have a team with only 3 champions."