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Joke of the Day
"Wife: where's the baby? Me: up on the roof Wife: THE ROOF? Me: relax. He's got sunscreen on"
Next Joke
"Advises all the young people, ""Do not grow up; it's a trap!!"""
"If my dying plant is any indication, I probably don't water my dog enough... Oh fuck, where's my kid?"
"A guy with a lisp once told me he would kill me in this very spot... He said it was my final deathtination."
"Jew joke What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? They don't scream when you put them in a oven!"
"Did you hear about the Easter Egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs"
"Most people need a reason to drink, I need a reason not to drink."
"My gynecologist recognized me at the grocery store, so I guess I need to start wearing longer skirts."
"What's the worst thing about kidnapping and raping a young child to death in a dark alley? Getting blood all over your clown suit"
"What is heavy forward but not backward? **ton**"