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Joke of the Day
"Most people need a reason to drink, I need a reason not to drink."
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"You don't hear about Rowan Atkinson much these days. It's probably because he's a has-*bean*."
"What do you call a female deer that's pickled? A dill doe"
"I've had a bungee jumping incident But I'm sure I'll bounce back"
"Eve says to Adam "" this salad is so good"" Adam says to Eve ""That's the basket with my dirty clothes"""
"I stopped a kidnapping today.. I woke him up"
"What do you call a lock with low self-confidence? Insecure."
"Why does everyone care who Tom Brady voted for? What we really wanna know is who Ja Rule voted for. WHERE IS JA?!"
"{Text} Me: Come home soon baby, I'm dressed like Leia.. Him: So turned on, I am.. Me: If you show up dressed like Yoda it's not happening"
"A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""Hey, you know we've got a drink named after you!"" The grasshopper says.... ...Ralph?"