53969

Joke of the Day

"My gynecologist recognized me at the grocery store, so I guess I need to start wearing longer skirts."

"Yearning > Earning Mamma's yearning capacity is greater than papa's earning capacity."

"I wish my wife was one of those government agents who aren't allowed to talk about what they did at work all day."

"If someone asks for advice, just tell em to follow their heart. No idea what that shit means but at least they're not talking to you anymore"

"Funny women are smart. Be careful."

"My dog chases people on a bike a lot. If this continues i'll have to take his bike away."

"What do you call an Asian penguin? A penguyen"

"Bald people struggle with improv, They can't seem to come up with anything off the top of their head."

"What candy is traditionally served at a Jewish wedding. Mazel toffee."

"Will carrying a torch save you from an attacking bear? Depends on how fast you can carry it."