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Joke of the Day

"Monster: I've got to walk 25 miles home. Ghost: Why don't you take a train. Monster: I did once but my mother made me give it back."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh you don't know? Never mind. You wouldn't get it."

"Son, if you masturbate too much you'll go blind! Ahh, I'm over here Dad."

"Why don't debutantes like group sex? Too many thank you notes to write"

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. And that is ***not funny***."

"[Soldiers regrouping] Where's Jim? He went M.I.A. *Cut to Jim* All I wanna do *bang bang bang bang* *reloading noise* And shoot enemies "

"It's not illegal to tell a ghost story when a cop shines a flashlight in your face"

"Have any of you heard about the magician who was driving home? He turned into a driveway."

"""Balls."" said the queen. The king laughed, he had to."

"My mother's star sign was cancer. Ironic how she died, really. She died due to fatal injuries from a giant crab attack."