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Joke of the Day

"My hearing-impaired GF left me for a hearing-impaired man. I should have seen the signs."

"What does the perverted frog say? Rubbit."

"Q: Why are pirates so popular? A: They just arrrr."

"An English teacher tells a knock knock joke Teacher: Knock Knock Student: Who's there? Teacher: To Student: To who? Teacher: To *whom*"

"What did the watch say when the necklace, earrings, purse and ring killed the shoes? I won't be an accessory to this."

"So if Valentine's Day is for couples, then the other 364 days are for me, right?"

"Facebook is great! It reminds me to go to the gym and take my birth control so I don't end up like everyone I went to high school with."

"Have you ever listened to someone talk for a while and started to wonder ""who ties your shoelaces for you?"""

"I love my relationship with my bed. No commitment needed. We just sleep together every night."

"So I'm in Ikea.... ...and I ask the salesperson, ""Is this a finished desk?"" and she says, ""No, it's Swedish."" (edited to make more better)"