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Joke of the Day

"Ban pre-shredded cheese... Make America grate again!"

"ME: long time no see! I heard you're a doctor FRIEND: I am. what do you do now? ME: [glances down at open twitter app] I'm a writer"

"How I knew my GF was playing with herself on her period... I caught her red-handed."

"Why can't a bicycle stand up? It is two tired."

"My son is in hospital because of one little driving mistake. He beat me at Mario Kart."

"Is this sub Pi? There seems to be an endless supply of jokes, and I swear it's gonna repeat itself at some point."

"Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Apes during World War Two? Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!"

"When girls or any women ask you ""What?"" In reply, it isn't because they didn't hear you. Its because they are giving you a CHANCE to CHANGE what you just said."

"a useful hat is also a handicap"

"How is education going to make me smarter?"