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Joke of the Day

"which is the Beyonce song where it's like we're independent but also you should marry us but like we're super-strong but also pay our bills"

"How do you get a red wine stain off a baby?"

"I told my wife 'a blowjob a day keeps the doctor away.' For Christmas she bought me better medical coverage."

"How do aliens stay warm? Space heater."

"Why did the black man wear a suit to his vasectomy? If he was going to be Impotent he wanted to look impotent. (important)"

"A genie granted me a wish, i said i wish to turn me into something who always suck the blood of the beautiful women, then poooof, i became a tampon.."

"""I saw the Facebook Movie yesterday. It's a good movie. It touched all my emotions: LOL, OMG, WTF..."""

"What are three words you dread the most while making love? ""Honey I'm home."""

"Q:Whats is fat ugly and gives good head? A:Your mom OOOOOOOooooooOOOOOOooooo"

"What does the Lego man do for fun? He throws a block party."