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Joke of the Day

"Me: sorry I rode a giraffe to your grandmas funeral Friend: what? that's not a giraffe Me: sorry I'm on drugs at your grandmas funeral"

"Boyfriend Test: Sour Skittles in one hand. Peanut Butter M&Ms in the other. Which do you choose? WRONG. Neither. Don't ever take my candy."

"Actual air attendant: ""Secure your mask before helping your kids.if you have multiple, pick the one with the highest earning potential 1st"""

"Do you whats amazing? Spiderman"

"Huh, this is a first Never had an ambulance follow me to the gym before They must know"

"A astronomer friend of mine told me a space joke... I didn't get it, it was way above my head."

"good cop bag cop. the first cop is super nice. the second is an Adidas sports bag. no suspect has been charged ever."

"Why does Sunscreen break atomic rule? It's only SPF"

"In what situation would you need Nancy to come out of the ground? in an emergenancy"

"Pay attention to funeral dress codes Sombre is only a couple of letters away from Sombrero"