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Joke of the Day

"Huh, this is a first Never had an ambulance follow me to the gym before They must know"

"*me looking at a police lineup* Number 3 is cute. OMG Is he single? Give him my number! What? Oh. Right. Five. Number 5 killed my grandpa."

"So does anybody have any M. Brown jokes, or would we be taking shots at him too soon?"

"wife: ugh I feel so old me: you're only 36 wife: ugh me: that's like three 12yr olds wife: what me: what"

"What sex position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother."

"Sometimes I'll order things online & pay for handling but not shipping. I don't want the product; I just want them to move it around a bit."

"There were two peanuts walking down a dark alley One was assaulted."

"I told my sister I'm into incest she took it really hard."

"Somebody messed up my small weighing scale. I was like 0MG!"

"Recent studies show that 1 out of 3 Americans weigh as much as the other 2 put together."