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Joke of the Day

"There's plenty more fish in the sea But until I catch one I'm left here holding my rod."

"You're right, strange woman giving me your opinion on having tattoos. I regret them right now because they caused you to talk to me."

"The Illuminati doesn't scare me They never even kill anyo"

"Why do meth addicts prefer to do it doggy style? So they can both look out the window."

"I borrowed $500 from a co-worker then paid a homeless guy $8 to kill him in a McDonald's bathroom. I'm up $405 or whatever."

"Why couldn't Shah Rukh Khan enter America? ... Because he wasn't an Amirkhan"

"I recently purchased a teddy bear for 10 And named it Mohammed, then sold it for 20. My question is.....have I made a Prophet?"

"What do you call a Mexican that's lost his car? Carlos"

"the guy in charge of namimg the bagpipes definitly just took one look at it and gave up"

"Hmm. Every fortune cookie I've opened in the past six months says ""you will die screaming."" Weird."