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Joke of the Day

"What kind of coat does a vampire wear in the rain? A wet one."

"Jared Fogle was 994.4 terabytes short of being a petaphile ayy"

"Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippy? He was too far out, maan!"

"Not afraid of death anymore because I just woke up from a nap I didn't even know I was having."

"Why were there coffe beans at the subway station? Because they were under-ground."

"Me: Your hair smells so good. Which shampoo is that? My Boss: This is inappropriate Me: Your skin is so... My Boss:*Turns off shower* OUT!"

"""I see..."" said the blind man as he pissed into the wind. ""It's all coming back to me now."""

"What did the leper say to the prostitute? ""You can keep the tip""."

"how to dismiss awkward boners ""Don't worry about him...he's a real dick"""

"Twitter is where the nerds from highshool shine because we know how to use correct grammar, metaphors, & sarcasm correctly. And we can read."