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Joke of the Day

"Twitter is where the nerds from highshool shine because we know how to use correct grammar, metaphors, & sarcasm correctly. And we can read."

"I installed skylights in my home, ...the people that lived above me were furious."

"Did you hear about the robbery at the bakery? The thieves said 'give me all your dough.'"

"Did you hear about the lactose intolerant man who ate a whole wheel of cheese? it was not gouda for him later."

"Whats a printer's favorite sandwich? A paper jam sandwhich"

"No one is ever able to catch me. What country do I live? Iran"

"How do you know it's time to do the dishes? Look in your pants, if you see a penis, it's not time yet."

"To do list: 1) Change Facebook name to 'No One' 2) 'Like' peoples statuses."

"What's the most common question in a Gay Bar? Can i push in your stool?"

"Medication for depression ""may cause thoughts of suicide"". If this were so for all meds then: Diet Pills..may cause ravenous hunger"