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Joke of the Day

"Twitter is where the nerds from highshool shine because we know how to use correct grammar, metaphors, & sarcasm correctly. And we can read."

"You have orgasms all the time. Even if you don't have sex, I know you masturbate. You're a liar if you say you don't. Sexy"

"How many karma whores does it take to change a lightbulb? 10: one to change it, one to post about it for karma and eight to repost it a few months later."

"""Mom, I'm an adult. There's nothing left for you to show me."" (*folds a fitted sheet*) ""TEACH ME YOUR SORCERY, LINEN WIZARD"""

"Baltimore, eat a snickers. You turn into Ferguson when you're hungry."

"I made this up when i was 10... Whats a frogs favorite restaurant? IHOP!!!"

"I don't trust those trees They seem kind of shady"

"Throwing acid is wrong.... in some people's eyes."

"A Three legged dog walks into the old wild west saloon He says to the bartender, ""I'm lookin' fer the guy who shot my paw."""

"Why did the mexicans fight so hard for the alamo? They wanted 4 clean walls to spray paint."