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Joke of the Day
"Why'd the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field."
Next Joke
"I used to be a people person, but apparently collecting people in your basement is frowned upon."
"Tom: What did the banana say to the elephant? Nick: I don't know. Tom: Nothing. Bananas can't talk."
"(re-post) Why does beyonce sing ""to the left, to the left"" Because women have no rights."
"What's the difference between a fedora and a fedina? ""A fedina? What's a fedina?"" ""*a-Spaghetti and meatballs!*"" Try it out. Just try it. This holiday season."
"Last night I had sex for an hour and 30 seconds. I love when daylight savings time ends!"
"Me: I had to take your hamster back to the shop Son: Why [nervous because I accidentally ran him over with a lawnmower] Me: He's a racist"
"I should become a proctologist After all I deal with assholes everyday!"
"Got this super hard game on my phone called Bank Of America. You only get a power up every 2 weeks? Need cheat codes"
"What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? No one knows, he hasn't opened his presents yet."