150941

Joke of the Day

"Last night I had sex for an hour and 30 seconds. I love when daylight savings time ends!"

"Moses, Jesus and Muhammad are walking into a bar. Cries the barkeeper: ""If this is gonna be a joke that guy has to stay out!"""

"Tiger Woods... ...just had the worst 9 holes in his life, well second worst if you consider the 9 holes that lost him his marriage but still..."

"""I found my charger!!"" - a love story"

"What's the most disgusting, distasteful international treaty organization? EU!"

"A Jewish joke (as told by Sigmund Freud) One Jew says to another, ""Have you taken a bath?"" The other replies: ""No. Is one missing?"" From *Wit and Its Relation to the Unconscious*"

"I was in the bank yesterday and all the money floated out of the vault and flew right out the door... It was a polterheist."

"Mesut Ozil was quoted as saying ""I want to help Arsenal win trophies."" So when does the rest of the Real Madrid squad arrive with you?"

"The down arrow key on my laptop isn't functional. IT asked me if they should call the on-site repair guy to come in today... I told them it wasn't pressing."

"Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale it read ""one at a time please"""