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Joke of the Day

"Tom: What did the banana say to the elephant? Nick: I don't know. Tom: Nothing. Bananas can't talk."

"Let's give it up for grandmas who get offended and scared when they hear the word penis, but have like 12 kids."

"What disease do terrible parkers have? parkin'sins"

"What fighting style does best girl use? Waifoo."

"My grandfather always used to tell me... you can lead a horse to water, but if you can teach him to fish, you need to lay off the fucking acid."

"The worlds best chat-up line: ""I like my women how I like my coffee... Either cheap and bitter or ground up and in the freezer."""

"HR: Do you know why I called you in here today? Me: I have a boyfriend HR: Ok, sorry to bother you"

"A gas station had 2 signs in the window, help wanted and self-service. I walked in and hired myself. credit: Steven Wright"

"what do a roadway, for coworkers in the same car, that goes underwater and discomfort in the wrist from excessive computer use have in common? carpool tunnel"

"Let's be honest: When life gives you lemons, most of you just cry to the internet about it."