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Joke of the Day
"What newspaper do cows read? The Daily Moos."
Next Joke
"What disease did the house have? Shingles."
"He asked what I like in bed so I was honest: 1. My dog 2. iPhone 3. Blankets fresh from the dryer 4. Take out"
"Please listen closely... Attention: Tonight I will attempt to travel back in time and change history. You'll know I've succeeded if Germany loses WWII and Wednesday comes *after* Tuesday."
"What do you call a fish with 27 eyes? Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiish"
"[NSFW] What came first: The egg or the chicken? The chicken, I don't think egg cums."
"'If u insinuate that I'm fat again, I'm leaving you!' 'Don't be selfish, think about the baby.' 'What baby?' 'Oh, so you're not pregnant?'"
"To the co-worker who had a 17 min conversation with me and didn't tell me I had a smudge on my forehead. It's on!!"
"Why can't blondes finish software updates? They can never find the ""any"" key."
"The MI5 are watching every move I make and breath I take... It seems it's a sting operation"