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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a fish with 27 eyes? Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiish"

"Did it hurt when you fell down from Heaven?"

"Brain: We've got lots to do today. Body: You're on your own buddy."

"If video games were really bad for you, then the entire Pac-man generation would be eating pills and running away from their problems Oh wait."

"It took me 13 years but I finally deleted most of my e-mails."

"Did you hear they discovered a carnivorous tree in the Amazon? Don't worry its bark is worse than its bite."

"Did you hear about the famous Italian chef that recently died? He pasta way."

"With God all things are possible; but with money all things are probable. And with a good accountant, they're all deductible."

"This election cycle makes me want to find a bar really badly... Do any 21st amendment people know where I can get a drink around here?"

"There's no human I hate more than the attendant in the bathroom at bars. Bro, I can handle this portion of my day ASSISTANCE FREE."