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Joke of the Day

"If I bought a balloon for $0.99 ... How much should I sell it for when I adjust for inflation?"

"why does traditional Irish chili only have 239 beans in it? ...if it had one more, it would be ""teew faarty"""

"People who complain that my Christmas gifts are ""stupid"" and ""thoughtless"" clearly have no idea how hard it is to wrap a pineapple."

"Did you know darth veder got married His wife is elevator Terrible joke I know"

"Whats the difference between two dicks and a joke? Your Mom can't take a joke."

"I've always wanted to shake Muhammad Ali's hand Unfortunately, Parkinson's beat me to it."

"Let me be clear, I don't want to die alone. However I want to be left completely alone until that moment."

"You think you've got problems?I dropped my cocaine in the snow this morning."

"I am so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed."

"Why did the melons have a big wedding? Well, they cantaloupe"