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Joke of the Day

"People who complain that my Christmas gifts are ""stupid"" and ""thoughtless"" clearly have no idea how hard it is to wrap a pineapple."

"Dr to nurse! Dr to nurse: ""How much has this man had to drink?"" Nurse: ""I can't tell."" Dr: ""It's ok; you can tell me. I'm a doctor"""

"What did the baker say to the dough before he put it in the oven? ""You are no longer kneaded."""

"What is small furry and smells like bacon ? A hamster !"

"What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller? Curses! Foil again!"

"Every horse you've ever seen has two people inside them. Horses aren't real. Commitment is."

"I like when my girlfriend wears a 1 piece The top piece or the bottom piece"

"My salad for lunch is missing one key ingredient which would make it perfect. Donuts."

"In Egypt they started throwing gay people in the river, an Egyptian friend of mine swears he isn't gay. But he's still in the Nile."

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A Lickalotapuss."