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Joke of the Day

"Did you know darth veder got married His wife is elevator Terrible joke I know"

"There are 364 days until Christmas and people already have their Christmas lights up. Unbelievable...."

"These food blogs start simple. 'How to cook rice. Boil. Serve' But over time... 'How to creme brulee baba ganoush with caramel'."

"Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! The job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in his jeans."

"I don't necessarily enjoy being the bad influence...but hey, somebody has to do it!"

"What do you call an honest lawyer? An oxymoron."

"arm's length what do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? a speech impediment"

"A very busty woman whispers to me ""I want you to tell me if these look real"" my eyes widen, then she takes out pictures of the moon landing"

"Have you ever heard about that joke you can't tell to gay people?"

"Interviewer: may we contact your previous employers? [cut to the giant grave in the desert where I buried them all] Me: lol you could try"