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Joke of the Day

"How many hipsters... does it take to screw in a light bulb? It's a really obscure number. You've probably never heard of it."

"What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? GLOVES! Just kidding, he hasn't opened the box yet"

"What is the difference between a circus and a whorehouse?[NSFW[ One is an array of cunning stunts and the other is an array of stunning c*nts EDIT: R.I.P. inbox, this really blew up unexpectedly"

"What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster? A cock that stays up all night."

"Autocorrect changed ""you flatter me"" to ""you flatten me"" and shit just got really weird."

"My girlfriend just broke up with me. I deserved it... I asked her to so I could do this joke."

"A limbo champion walks into a bar And loses his title."

"Bruce Jenner, substantiated proof... Women are worse drivers."

"Addiction therapist: You've tweeted 36k tweets in a year. Me: Yeah, so? Therapist: What are you paying me for? Me: Material. Therapist: ..."

"What's the difference between a prostitute and a lawyer? A prostitute will stop screwing you after you're dead."