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Joke of the Day

"I introduced my ex girlfriend to a buddy who has epilepsy She was always saying she loved vibrators."

"Was out on the golf course and shot an eagle at Hole 9. Mom doesn't believe me, but wait till she sees the eagle."

"POLISH JOKE Why do Polish people keep empty bottles in their refrigerator? For people that don't want anything to drink"

"So a horse walks into a bar... And the bartender says, ""why the long face?"" To which the horse replies, ""I'm a raging alcoholic and it's destroying my family."""

"Did ya hear Fergie is pregnant? Told her husband she was 2000 and late"

"Just yelled ""out of my way monsters!"" at a flock of seagulls, so I'm done interacting socially for the day"

"They say shoe size correlates with penis size... ...which makes getting raped by a clown that much more terrifying."

"Tweeting angrily about issues does nothing. If you really want to make a difference, you have to get out there and sign an online petition."

"My Ex girlfriend works in a pharmacy, so whenever I want to spoil her mood I'll just go there to buy condom for no reason. Sometimes I'll go 3 times a day..."

"Hookers should use laundry mats as fronts for their brothels They both charge by the load."