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Joke of the Day

"Just yelled ""out of my way monsters!"" at a flock of seagulls, so I'm done interacting socially for the day"

"What's the difference between a person with a forehead and a fivehead? A sixth sense"

"...Moth balls Have you ever smelled moth balls? . . . . . You have?...How'd you get the tiny little legs apart?"

"3yo: I want to help! Me: You can help by being quiet. 3yo: Me: 3yo: I want to help in a different way!!!"

"Hate it when couples fight & change their relationship status to ""single"". I fight with my parents, and don't change my status to ""orphan""."

"What did the band director say to the misbehaving kid? You're in treble mister!"

"Homeless people's dogs must think, ""Damn, this is the longest walk ever!"""

"If you ever have to say ""just kidding,"" you're probably not very good at kidding and you should stop kidding"

"What do you call a nun with a drinking problem? A bad habit"

"The people in this ad look 'indie' & remind me of myself. As a consumer this makes me feel good. Now I will purchase all their products"