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Joke of the Day

"Why is Diego's slogan ""Go Diego Go"" It was the last thing his mother said before she got shot by the border patrol"

"She wants to know what I accomplished on my day off, but when I show her she yells at me for not flushing. Marriage is hard."

"$500 worth of condoms and lubricant were stolen overnight from a Sydney sex shop. Police described the thieves as slippery,well covered,hardened criminals."

"A man carrying his wife. She asks him to put her down. ""All right, you're an idiot."" he replied."

"I want to die of natural causes like being stabbed to death by a rainforest."

"What do you call an oyster who can't find another job? A clamboni driver!"

"There's 2 statues in a dark room, what did one statue say to the other statue? Is statue?"

"Want proof advertising works? I just bought a Goodyear blimp."

"If I got a dime for every time I didn't know what was going on, I'd be asking people why they're giving me dimes."

"Fighting childhood obesity.... ....is as easy as taking candy from a baby."