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Joke of the Day

"The pickle is like your sandwich's pet"

"2 cannibals... ...are eating. One turns the other and says ""You know, I really don't like my sister."" The other cannibal replies ""Fine then, try the pot pie."""

"Someone asked me to stop singing wonderwall I said maybe"

"Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice."

"why does traditional Irish chili only have 239 beans in it? ...if it had one more, it would be ""teew faarty"""

"I started professionally playing the rubber band as an instrument... ...I consider myself a one-man band."

"Hard work is simply the refuge of people who have nothing whatever to do."

"JIMMY THE BULB Q: How many old-timey gangsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: We ain't sayin' nuthin'."

"Thanks for putting your kid on the phone so he could say hi. It changed my life."

"At an Irish wedding reception someone yelled... ""Would all the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living."" The bartender was almost crushed to death."