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Joke of the Day

"Thanks for putting your kid on the phone so he could say hi. It changed my life."

"Want to hear a Cosby joke? Wait ... I told it wrong. I wasn't supposed to ask for consent."

"I'm selling my parachute. Mint condition. Never opened, only used once"

"Is it considered sexual assault to masturbate while cyber bullying? If so, I owe a pretty heartfelt apology to some members of PlaystationNetwork."

"I am the big shot at my new job. I am the human cannonball at the circus."

"""Yes, I remember you saying"" - Translation: Please stop saying that"

"Wanna have a little fun? Go to Facebook and post ""Anyone know a good lawyer?"" Then sit back and watch the speculation run wild!"

"The embarrassing moment when you bring handcuffs to 'gamenight' and she brings Monopoly."

"A jumper cable walks into a bar The bartender says, ""Sure, you can stay, but don't start anything!"""

"A man asks god... Man:""Why did you make women so beautiful?"" God:""So you would love her."" Man:""Then why did you make her so dumb?"" God:""So she would love you."""