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Joke of the Day

"At an Irish wedding reception someone yelled... ""Would all the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living."" The bartender was almost crushed to death."

"TIFU by mixing up my sub order at subway. Whoops, wrong sub."

"I dated a midget once, we were in love.. I was nuts over her."

"A few simple tips: 1. Don't promise when you're happy. 2. Don't reply when you're angry. 3. Don't decide when you're sad."

"When life gives you lemons, you should peel one in front of the other lemons. You know... to send a message."

"DATE IDEA: We stay in our respective homes and watch different shows on Netflix. And also that was a fake phone number I gave you."

"You never really realize how messed up your family is, until you start describing them to people that don't know them."

"What do you call a Pokemon that likes coins? A Pika-Jew"

"Whenever I read the karma sutra, it puts me in an awkward position."

"Why do women have periods? because they deserve them."