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Joke of the Day

"Taking their kid to a PG-13 movie must be a tough call for 13 year old mothers."

"What wears a bright red suit and knows if you've been naught..or nice? The Spanish Inquisition."

"I don't mind when people make kitchen jokes about women, but when they make jokes about women driving... Well that's when I run you over"

"I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit."

"Getting carded at the liquor store is better than getting liquored at the card store."

"My girlfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. I had to put my foot down."

"People say Tinder users are perverts... ...but I think it's fantastic! I met my girlfriend of 18 months on there. I've been seeing her for a couple of weeks now and it's going great."

"Hell is an endless cycle of getting comfortable in bed & then suddenly having to pee"

"Do y'all have any tips on growing Salvia officinalis? I could use some sage advice."

"What do you call two beer drinkers arguing about sea turtles? Lager-heads at loggerheads about Loggerheads."