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Joke of the Day

"What do you call two beer drinkers arguing about sea turtles? Lager-heads at loggerheads about Loggerheads."

"As a German, I sympathize with the unnamed masses of the Star Wars universe. For I too know what it's like to be betrayed by an evil Chancellor."

"Why do they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken."

"If a woman drinks two glasses of wine a day, it increases the chance of a stroke. If you let her finish the bottle, she'll probably suck it as well."

"What does Amtrak have in common with Tom Cruise? They both like to go off the rails Edit: On a side note, I hope all of the passengers, and crew are ok, and recover quickly"

"78, 68, 77, 69, 78, 68, 75, 65, 75, 67, 79, 60 My mom & me, changing the thermostat behind each other's backs."

"What do you call a multiple choice dad joke? A pop quiz."

"as punishment, the townspeople force me to wear a prominent, scarlet letter ""A"", which stands for ""a big piece of shit who loves crime"""

"Two gay penises walk by a bar One says to the other ""hey, wanna get shitfaced?"""

"I knew joining a gym was a bad idea when I got there and needed help pulling the door open."