19003

Joke of the Day

"Hell is an endless cycle of getting comfortable in bed & then suddenly having to pee"

"Do you think when dead people get tired of being dead they commit life?"

"Why were 9/11 victims the fastest readers? They went through 87 stories in 10 seconds."

"Why did Donald Trump outlaw grated cheese ? So he could make America grate again."

"'Marley and Me' has a sequel! It's called 'Me'..."

"How did the date go? -Not good. Aww what went wrong? -*thinks back to accidentally popping a zit into her soup* She just wasn't my type."

"Why hasn't any lawyer ever been bitten by a shark? Professional courtesy."

"""Ok, imagine a fleshlight, but full of food."" - Hot Pocket sales pitch"

"my lawyer wants me to turn myself into the police but I keep telling him impersonating a cop is what got me into trouble in the first place"

"Russian Porn Doesn't it get you soviet?"