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Joke of the Day

"Just because your kid says, ""You're my hero"" does not mean you can pick them up at school wearing a cape, apparently"

"Yesterday Bill Clinton called Hillary, ""the ablest person I've ever worked with."" Well, I can see why he's a hit with the ladies."

"You have beautiful eyes. Too bad they're attached to the head of a stark raving lunatic."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? Some obscure number you probably never heard of."

"What did the Mexican say when his roof fell on him? Get off me Holmes!"

"Which city u cannot enter? ELECTRICITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"What's the difference between a circus and a strip club? At the circus you see cunning stunts."

"For people who say bernie sanders and is socialist ideals is going to revive the red scare... Actually we're blue... (Go bernie!)"

"How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? You can't tell it's in the dark"

"Four stages of my life: 1. Life is beautiful. 2. What is twitter? 3. Twitter is beautiful. 4. What is life?"